things I learned driving across country

1. It sucks driving across 9 states by yourself. With two vehicles. And no working a.c.

2. Birds are horrible traveling companions. All they do is squawk and complain. They also like to fight with nine-year-olds over who can be louder. No one wins that fight.

3. Out of the billion truck weight stations from Ohio to California (they're mandatory for huge trucks, by the way), only two are actually open.

4. B and I are very cranky when we're hungry. And when we're sweaty and hot. We are too much alike to be stuck in uncomfortable situations like this.

5. July is the worst time of year to move. Period. It's hot and brings out the worst in people.

6. Certain cities with crazy drivers expect you to drive just like them, even if you have a car hitched to a truck and out of state license plates. And they will let you know how un-crazy you're driving vocally and with looks (I'm looking at you, L.A.).

7. When traveling with kids, if you stay at 7 hotels with 7 pools, you will swim in each and every pool no matter how cold the water is.

8. Phoenix is effing hot in the middle of the summer, like the barely being able to breath kinda hot. As in you just bought your kid an Icee and it melted halfway on the 30 second walk back to the car.

9. Mountains are really scary. Especially when they reach an elevation of 6,000 feet.

10. I refuse to ever do it again. I realized there's a reason people leave it to moving companies when uprooting their lives.

11. After making this trip, I found out I can handle almost anything that comes my way.

Texas and Me

So as I write this, I sit in a hotel in Texas.

I've traveled a lot in my life and the state is not my favorite state in the country. Actually, it isn't even close. It's so far from close it jumped the ship 10 years ago and swam to Russia without a life vest. I have plenty of friends who dispute this feeling, but those are people from Texas and they think it's the greatest state to ever enter the United States.

I do not agree. Not even a little. Those same people think I'm off my rocker. That's also when I feel the need to point out it's a free country and I can have my opinion about anything I damn well choose. This is also the point where they get mad and look like they'll punch me in the mouth. Because they realize I'm right and then they go about their day mumbling about what an idiot I have to be not to love their precious state.

They forget that I'm not upset they're not in love with my city or state or anything else I love. And why not, you ask? Two magical words: Free Country. Yup, that's right. They're allowed their own opinion and so am I.

But here I am digressing again. Seriously, you can't take me anywhere. Or have me write anything. There really is no purpose for this post other than this:

I'm not meant for Texas.

That is all.