Lists

I love lists. I love making lists. Lists are the foundation of my life. I love getting a fresh lined pink, purple or blue Post It and writing down all the things I need to do in life. When I can find my sticky pads. Little hands tend to take them and hide them because they come in such pretty colors. Or so I'm told.

That being said, I make lists for everything. Literally everything. I just can't help myself. I have a book reading list. It's a list of every book I have that I haven't read yet. I have a TV show DVD list. It's a complete listing of every show I own and if I've watched each season or not. When I go on vacation or a weekend trip, I make a list of everything me and the family will possibly need.

And I enjoy remaking the list to make it prettier. I think it could quite possibly be my own personal OCD. Well, one of my OCD's, anyways.


Yes, I love making lists. But my absolute favorite part of making a list? Crossing off what I've done. I get great joy out of proving that I'm I do do things, even if it might take me a minute or two, or even a day. But I do get some of the important things done.

A Mom's Purse

A mom's purse. I own one. Most mom's I know own one. We all tote them around like they don't weigh as much as a bowling ball at times. It's not that really cute, really tiny purse we used to carry b.k. (before kids).

Or even that not so tiny one we wear out when we're going out without the little ones.

Nope, it's this one:

The one that holds all this:

This is everything I need on a daily basis that I will use at least once. It all fits in this monstrous thing I call my purse. The sad thing is, all of these items combined shouldn't weigh so much, but they do.

Fun Lists

As a single mom, I rarely have time to do much of anything besides working, school and taking care of the house. And with the new job, I work the craziest hours so it's hard to even get normal sleep hours much less time for myself and my reading. There are a few books coming out this year that I'm so looking forward to reading, I've written them down on a list of must-gets and must-reads. I do the same thing with my favorite shows that are coming out on Dvd. Except I don't get to compile that until around May-ish.

Here's my list, in no particular (other than release dates):

Scarlett Fever - Maureen Johnson (Feb 1)

Heist Societ - Ally Carter (Feb. 9)

Dead-Tossed Waves - Carrie Ryan (Mar. 9)

Can't Teach A Old Demon New Tricks - Cara Lockwood (Mar. 30)

Nine Rules To Break When Romancing A Rake - Sarah MacLean (Mar. 30)

The Clearing - Heather Davis (Apr. 12)

The Cinderella Society - Kay Cassidy (Apr. 13)

Runaway - Meg Cabot (Apr. 20)

The Kane Chronicles: The Red Pryamid - Rick Riordan (May 4)

The Demon's Covenant - Sarah Rees Brennan (May 18)

Forgive My Fins - Tara Lyn Childs (Jun. 1)

My Soul to Keep - Rachel Vincent (Jun. 1)

Raised By Wolves - Jennifer Lynn Barnes (Jun.8)

Insatiable - Meg Cabot (Jun. 8)

Only the Good Spy Young - Ally Carter (Jun. 15)

Blue Blood: Keys to the Repository - Melissa De La Cruz (Jun. 29)

And Then I Found Out The Truth - Jennifer Sturman (Jul. 1)

Strange Fate - L.J. Smith (Jul. 6)

Jealousy - Lili Saintcrow (Jul. 29)

Misguided Angel - Melissa De La Cruz (Oct. 5)

These are the books I'm really looking forward to picking up and buying this year. Well, the first half of the year anyway. These are in addition to my growing number of books I have sitting in my house just waiting to be read. Those are the ones that yell at me on a daily basis. But that's another story for another blog. Ah, it's a good year for books.

Life and Other Things Like It

Last year I watched the first season of Life and I absolutely loved it. It's a show about a cop, Charlie Crews, who goes to jail for 12 years for 3 murders he didn't commit. He's finally exonerated and given $50 million for his time in prison and he also goes back to being a cop, all the while secretly investigating the conspiracy behind his jail time. He's got a very zen like attitude for having spent over a decade in a no so nice prison, but he's also filled with a lot of demons he won't let people see very often. Every once in a while there's a glint/glare of what he's really hiding, which is quickly covered up by a smile. And he eats a lot of fruit.

His partner, Dani Reese, is the sassy recovering alcholic/drug addict, that's stuck with him. She is just as broken as he is. She really can't stand him at first, not because he was in jail, but because he annoys her with all his zen qualities and he never speaks like a normal person. "You don't have to understand here to be here." And he talks too much in her much prefered quiet universe .

I should also point out he does eventually grow on her, though Reese would never own up to that. She's given more than one opportunity to further her career and get a new partner. But she doesn't turn him in, rat him out, or trade him in for a new partner, even when asked straight up. Because I think she secretly likes him, just like Crews secretly likes her. And not just in the "hey, we're partners and I don't want to kill you in your sleep" kind of way. Maybe it's the romantic in me, but I wanted them to get together. I'm pretty sure that's where it was headed. I know what I saw in the finale.

The two main characters have such great chemistry, and it reminded me a lot of The X-Files without the sci-fi. Or maybe more like Bones. Either way Crews and Reese totally made the show for me. Crews and Reese are just so broken, they're the only ones who understand just how broken they are. No one else knows or tries to understand. Dani's own boyfriend can't figure out what's wrong with her when she's a mood. Charlie does and he won't pry until she's ready to spill. They miss each other when they're not working together, and they always have each other's backs, no matter what. They play off each other so well and it's never quite the same when one isn't there.

Don't they make an awesome set of partners?

So I finally bought the second season and sat down to watch it this weekend. I loved it even more the first season and I'm so sad that they did cancel it, even though I'm almost a full season late. It seems like any original show full of unique and quirky characters have no chance on television these days.

Case in point, Pushing Daisies. It is probably one of the most unique and refreshing shows I've seen in a very long time. It's also full of bright backdrops that remind me a good Dr. Suess book. It's a show that has death, but it's not anything I can't watch for a few minutes with my kiddo.

Dead Like Me, Firefly, Dollhouse, and Dark Angel are just a few of some of my favorites that barely made it past one season, let alone two. I blame networks for putting them in crappy slots to ensure they'll get no veiwers. If they want a show to do so horrible why even pick it up? But they do think everyone wants to watch reality shows. I'm one of those few people that barely watches reality TV. Frankly, they all bore me because they're the the same show with different people.

I'm just wondering who came up with Daycare Divas? And I personally never really cared about Jon and Kate plus however many kids can appear on TV at the same time. Both Jon and Kate piss me off just the same but for completely different reasons.

Maybe I should just start my own network and my own TV shows, maybe then I can the kind of quality programming I'd like to watch. Then I can make my own show with every character I've ever liked on TV. Ahhhh, to dream big.

Here's to a better year

Of all the years in the almost 3 decades since I was born, 2009 is ranked one of the worst that I can remember. Pretty much everything went wrong this year. But the good news is the year is almost over! I've never been more enthusiatic about a new year coming into the picture before. Hopefully this means 2010 will be a much better year.

I already have my resolutions list all set and ready to start breaking. Well, possibly not (and hopefully) breaking during the incoming year. I'll start with the possible and then head to the "will probably never happen in a million years, much less 2010".

1. Read more books, like all the ones I've bought that I never have time to read. Ever
2. Write everyday, even if it's just 30 minutes
3. Post on my blog more than I did this year
4. Finish writing my book so I can finally send it in
5. Get in shape so I don't feel so blah about myself
6. Work on my finances so I will have NO bills when I get out of the Air Force next year
7. I will no longer speak ill of Twilight, because I'm trying to teach my 7 year old "If you can't say anything nice, than don't say anything at all". And I choose not to have an opinion about the movies and books
8. Become more organized and less cynical
9. Finish a good portion of my Bachelor's
10. Catch up on my shows on DVD (which is a whole LOT, so maybe I should make a list I can cross off)
11. Take better care of myself than I have in the past, like getting actual sleep and eat better
12. Take more time to enjoy life and take nothing for granted
13. Keep in better contact with my closest friends than I have been

These are just a few that I've come up with and I'm sure there will be plenty more in the next couple of days, but it is a start for now. And I'm so ready for the new year, I've already started some of my resolutions.

So what do I have to say about 2010? Bring it on!

A Decade Come and Gone

It's hard to believe that 10 years have gone by so fast. Ok, it hasn't exactly flown by, but it doesn't feel like I was 18 THAT long ago. 10 years ago, I had graduated high school and joined the military less than two months later. In the last ten years, I've done plenty. I've lived in Colorado, Italy, and Ohio, all places I never thought I'd visit, much less live. I had my beautiful daughter, Brynn, in 2002, so I spent most of the decade being a mom, my most fulfilling role in life to date. I had a great job that I really loved that was essentially outsourced, forcing me to find new employment in the Air Force. I've dreamed of becoming a writer, but have yet to finish a book to my liking. Sad, but true. I've put a lot of things on hold during the last decade, including going to school.

Many things have happened over the years, but these are the few that have stuck out the most that impacted me the most. My hope and goal for the next ten years is to do the things I've put off and things I've been too afraid to do in the past.

I have a good feeling about the new year and the coming decade.

it really is time

Maybe I sound like a big baby or complainer. Maybe I just seem like a huge pessimist. But my main reasons for deciding to leave the military is: I'm just plain tired. I'm exhausted. I'm sure it could be thought that I'm just one big quitter because I can't deal with 10 more years of it and I truly don't care. I've already gave 10 years of my life to this job and its taken a toll on everything in my life.

And I'll be completely honest, if I wasn't forced to get a new job and I could have stayed in graphics for my 20, I think I would've been all over it. But they decided they didn't want to keep the job around, so everyone had to find a new source of employment opportunity in place of that job. I just happened to end up in a job I truly hate. Not everyone does and I'm glad for them, but most of the time I feel like there's no real purpose. That I'm forced to give up all of me and my family, for nothing. Basically as long as I'm another warm body filling the seat, me and mine don't really matter.

Everyone I work with tells me this job isn't that bad at every base, just this one. And yes, they're probably right and I should just wait to move somewhere else before I make a rash decision. And I probably should. But this place has left a bad taste in my mouth. It's left me feeling drained. I also feel that a job that tells me that my family is less important than my job (which my boss has recently explained) isn't a place I belong in. Maybe he can turn that switch and feels that dedicated, but I don't share those views. My family is the only reason I'm still where I am. I do my job, but that's it. I don't have some deep seeded need to go above and beyond that. Which really isn't like me at all.

I keep thinking maybee this is the big neon sign I need to do something without always playing it safe. The last 10 years have been interesting to say the least and I'm grateful for the learning experience, but I really feel this is my time to step away from this life and finally do something I'd wake every morning wanting to do.

I wonder if that will ever happen or will I fail in the process? I fear failure as much as I hate liars. It leaves an awful feeling in my gut, especially when you're working for someone who is probably one of the biggest I've ever met. If you can't trust the person in charge, who can you trust?