Seriously, some people need to just stop. Just because my family isn't their version of conventional, there's no need for the stink eye, nose upturned kind of attitude.
I get it. The fact that I had my kid young and *gasp* out of wedlock, might sound disturbing. And, wait for it, I choose to be a single unwed mother. Because, as we all know, single mothers are the reason there's sooooo many problems with the world. Yeah, that's it. Because my daughter could never lead a normal productive life both parents weren't in the picture.
Oh. Wait. We both are. We're just not together. Because we realized long before she was born that us together would make us both unhappy people. Which we knew would eventually lead to an unhappy, maladjusted kid. I know, what were we thinking, right? Making a ridiculously adult decision like that.
Why am I bitching about this? The other day, I was basically told in not so many (nice) words that I was in the wrong as a parent because a) I had my kid too young, b) I was going to hell because I had sex before marriage and c) I was screwing up my kid's life because we never got married and she has 2 different households. "It just isn't a healthy environment for her".
I took a calming breath (because I was pretty close to punching her out) before pointing out that a) yes, I was young, but 20 isn't that young. I also had a very well-paid full-time job and insurance that I didn't have to worry about, b) yes, I did, but it's the 21st century and not many people are celibate these days. Sex before marriage isn't some new trend I started all on my own. Yes, I happened to get pregnant, but sometimes shit happens. Having my kid, whatever the situation isn't something I'll ever regret and there's no way she could ever make me feel ashamed. C) Yup, B has two different households. And she likes it that way. She has a bunch of people who love her more than anything and that will drop everything to be by her side. Having people care - yeah, that's real unhealthy for any kid. She's one of the most well-adjusted kids I've ever met and I'm comparing her to kids that have both parents married and living together (and I am not saying kids that come from that kind of household are messed up, because I'm not, so no one get their feathers all ruffled. I just mean B's just as well-adjusted) . One thing I can say two households has really helped her with is that she's rolls with the punches and change so easily. Sudden change in an environment isn't something she even blinks it. My kid is loved and that's a hell of a lot more important than whether or not her mother and father have a little piece of paper. Our family situation isn't perfect and doesn't work for everyone. We all work our butts off to make it work for everyone in our family and for B. And it works for us.
I very kindly thanked her for very unrealistic and very misguided opinion and walked away.
So what's the point of this long and vent-filled post? It's dedicated to the woman (who's name I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure I never want to know) who's apparently stuck in the 19th century with her skewed views, who feels the need to point out if you're not living your life like hers, you're in the wrong. Your opinion doesn't mean jack squat to me. Lady, I'm allowed to live my life as I choose with no regrets and no need to justify it to you. Just like you're entitled to be an ignorant dumb-ass.
But I'm not judging you.
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