the kid I got stuck with . . .

amazes me at times. Like seriously leaves me speechless sometimes. And that is very hard to do.

She's ten. Ten and a half, according to her, because she's that much closer to eleven than ten these days.

She amazes me because she's on top of her homework on a daily basis. There's never any need to remind her to get it done. She also freaks out if she doesn't get it done on time, but that's never happened before. Because she's on top of it. Her school planner has every assignment written and checked off.

(she gets right into her homework as soon as she gets home from school- we never have to remind her)

A perfect example - being a 5th grader and California student, she has a state report that's due in April. It's comprised of about 10-12 different projects, including postcards, full 3-5 page paper, and the state's flag. They're not allowed to do California and B had a whole list of states she ranked in order of her favorites. Her first choice was Colorado because she's "a Coloradoan". Her exact words and cannot convince her that she was just born there so that doesn't make her a Coloradoan. Even though I have pointed out numerous times that she's hasn't set foot in the state in 9 years. But I digress.

B worried for weeks about not getting a state she wanted. Seriously. She had dreams about it. When she got her first choice she celebrated.

Her school participates in the AR (accelerated reader) program and the kids are required to read at least 15 minutes a night and log it. When they're done with a book they take an online test about the book. Each book is worth a certain number of points and her teacher said once they reach a certain number of points, they don't have to keep a log anymore. The kid reached that number back in November.

Her teacher also wants them keep track of the number of pages they read during those 15 minutes. One of B's friends who was in her teacher's class last year read 900 pages during the school year. One of her fifth grade goals was to surpass his number. I'm not at all surprised because this is how we usually find her:

Another goal of hers? Starting her own business before she goes into 6th grade.

That's not the only reason she amazes me. She's been planning her college career since she was 8. Her goal is get a full scholarship to Oxford University. She's put together a list of alternate schools just in case the money doesn't pan out, but Oxford is first choice because "it's the best college in the world". Her words. I kid you not.

She's the kid in class that gets in trouble for reading when it's math time and she's done with all her work. And when we punish her for talking back, lying, normal kid stuff, we take away her books for a couple of days. Though now she's getting a little more into the Lego video games (hell, who am I kidding? So am I) and her iPod, so it's a little more leverage.

She has more of her dad's patience than mine (which is a great thing for her) when it comes to most things. Except talking to people. Because she's such a talker (like her lovely mom) when she has conversations with people and they're saying something, if she knows where they're going with their words, she'll butt right in and finish it for them if they're taking too long. I have to remind her most people don't take too kindly to that and she needs to chill about it.

She's so different than I was at her age. I was lucky if I turned in my homework on time. And college? Not even something I thought of.

No one knows where she gets it from, but I try not to dwell on it too much because I'm not sure I could actually narrow it down.

Yup, she amazes me more and more every day by being her own special little person. And I wouldn't change her for the world.

yummy cupcakes . . . .

that are fat free and you'll never gain a pound. Sounds pretty nice. Plus they smell awesome and they look mouth-watering, right?

• You could eat them. You totally could. I wouldn't suggest it though, because they're bath bombs. Yup, they're soap and would taste awful on your tongue. They're very pretty to look at and awesome to use. They fizz in your bath and smell amazing. And they are a lot of  fun to make. We call them cutie bombs.

These mini cupcake bath bombs are part of the business venture B and I have started. We're making and selling beauties like these, and I'm in the process of working on a web page for it. We're also going to sell them at flea markets. If they do well, we're going to add more bath products.

These purdy little things are perfect gifts and make for great treat to put in goodie bags for any special occasion. *ahem* Not that I'm promoting this or anything. :)

But . . . . if people are interested in having their own to buy that we just happen to make and sell. . . . well, we won't say no.

be a trendy parent

This is what the Today show told me this morning as I was getting ready for school. Be a trendy parent. Go read "50 Shades of Grey" so you can be one of those super cool party people parents. Buy this certain make-up because it'll make you hip like those other hipster parents out there.

I must be weird, because I put my foot down at being trendy. I can't say I've always been that way, but I just don't feel like being trendy is worth it. Why can't I just be myself?

First off, I won't touch "50 Shades of Grey" with a ten foot pole. Especially after the whole Twilight debacle. Twilight was sooooo trendy and I thought it'd be a good read. A whole lotta hoopla and days of my life wasted I'll never get back. Ever. And I'd really like that wasted time back.

But I digress.

Secondly, it's fine to try and be that trendy parent, but being trendy doesn't help you relate to your kids. There's that stigma today that if you're not that awesome parent that every kid wants as a parent, you suck at life. If you treat your kid like they're your kid and not your best friend, they won't ever talk to you in the future because you weren't hip.

The thing I've come to realize as a mom of kid who'll be a teen sooner rather than later is, one day you'll stop being cool. And trying to be that person that's so hip they can totally relate is not going to help. I used to think by the time B was in high school, I'd be that mom who understood all that new lingo and listened to all the music her kid did because we're so close in age how could I not?

Then I was faced with a reality check: some of her friends don't think I'm cool anymore. Not because I can't relate to them. I understand the things they have to deal with and what's headed in their direction in the future. I get the new clothing that's out there (even if I don't agree with all of it). I can even talk to most of them about their problems with some of their classmates. I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt and the hat. That's not why I'm not cool.

Nope.

It's because I'm a mom and not their age, so of course I would have no idea what's going on. It's as simple as that. I won't be cool or hip in their eyes because I'm not an teen like them. I'm (only) 20 years older and have nothing in common with them. I'll be too old to understand.

And I've made peace with that. I know no amount of reading some popular book with typos is going to suddenly make a trendy mom that's young and hip in B's eyes when she's a teen. In fact, it'll probably embarrass the crap out her.

But for the time being I'm still the cool mom who does her own thing and doesn't give a crap about what other people think. I don't need to be a trendy parent to try and relate to her. I can be my weird self and she's still proudly introducing me as her mother.

Until she hits middle school and realizes she's too cool to be seen with me, that is.

this is strange

I guess it's a good thing when I have less blog drafts than published posts. It kind of makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something, rather than spending copious of time on Tumblr. Which I totally don't do.

My number of drafts on this blog have dwindled and there are twice as many posted updates. Yay! I blame the new school and the new major. But it's the best kind of blame. I feel more creative because I get to do about a billion more creative things than I did in culinary.

And I'm not saying culinary isn't creative, it's very creative. Just not for this girl. My brain doesn't work on a culinary level like it does on a techie level. It seems so much easier for me and it doesn't hurt my head. Even as I write this post, I'm done with all my homework for this week and I was assigned it yesterday. I wrote character backgrounds for my latest novel and ten more ideas came to me.

I dunno. It makes me feel like I'm back to normal.

Well, as normal as I can get, anyway.

time for a change

When I think back to my younger self, specifically between 21 and 22, I realize something. I was more organized and had everything running like a well-timed train.

I feel I was so much more put together when I was a newbie mom than I am being a 10-year veteran in the field of motherhood. I had everything on my sticky pad checked off and the only things I had to write down were the things I had to get done. And they always got done. I had time to read books. I had time to write. I didn't feel overwhelmed with life.

I'm not exactly sure what's happened, but over the last few years, I've stopped being that person. It really bothers me at times because she had all her sh*t together and I feel like I drop the ball a lot. I feel things are sometimes out of control for me. I seem to never have enough time for anything.

I don't know what it is and frankly, I'm pretty of sick of it. It's like the confidence I had in myself back then disappeared or took a really long hiatus. Another thing that probably hasn't helped is the fact that I don't have anybody to really talk to. The one person that was my sounding board on everything isn't around anymore. My closest friends all have their own things going on and are too far away. One of them can't bother to call a person back after you called to congratulate them on their new baby. Two months ago (I'm not bitching. It's the plain truth. I might be worried that they'd read this, but I know they won't).

I guess it's me. I've always known I'm a hard person to get to know or understand, but I didn't realize I was that bad. But I digress.

But now it's time for that crap to end. I'm tired of feeling like I haven't accomplished anything. I'm sick to death of how sucky my life's been and the fact that I even let it get that bad. I'm not proud of it and I'm done with feeling like . .  . well, crap. So, I'm done with that feeling.

I refuse to let it pop back up and it's not welcome ever again.

b starts making lovey eyes at ryan gosling

We watched "Remember the Titans" this past weekend. It was B's first time because she's always giving me that stink eye look when I'd say "Left side - Strong side". So for my sanity's sake (and because I wanted to see Opie before he started sprouting that not so attractive beard) we made it our movie night choice.

Since it's a Disney family type flick, there wasn't much I had to worry about shielding her from. And since it's a football movie, nothing could be wrong with it. We got to the part when they went to that 2 week football summer camp when the inevitable happened.

I can't even say I was surprised that it happened at all. Coach Denzel was making the players get to know each other. Ryan Gosling was torturing his roommate with Beatles songs sung by Ringo Starr (and doing an awful, awful dance to go along with it). She wanted to see it again. And then repeated how funny that part was.

Cut to the locker room scene when everyone's buddy-buddy with each other. And Ryan Gosling danced again. Like he was having spasms. She giggled and had me rewind it 3 times before I put my foot down.

That's about the time I realized my little girl thought 20-year-old Ryan Gosling was cute. And now she's got a mini-sized crush on him. It's also around the time it hit me that she really is my kid. She's already liking boys (I'll leave the crush on the boy in her class for another time) and she thinks Ryan Gosling's cute. She definitely has my taste (and she's already slightly boy crazy).

I think I'll be really worried in a few years when she's watching some movie with Mr. Gosling in it and she's ogling him while he's the shirtless good looking man he is today.

But, knowing my kid, it'll probably be Chris Hemsworth or Chris Evans.

Ahem. There's a reason I don't let her read my blog yet. :D

in case of a zombie apocalypse

In honor of the latest Resident Evil addition and all that recent talk about homeless people eating people's faces has gotten me thinking about the impending zombie apocalypse. That and all those zombie movies/TV shows I watch. And I watch way too much of them. I know I've already made my list of what to do in case it actually happens. But having my zombie marathon got me thinking of who I'd go look for in the event that it would really happen.

I'm not talking about people I really know. It's a given I'd run around with the kiddo and my closest friends (if they're still alive, that is). I'm talking about people that don't really exist outside my TV screen. Because well, they're fictional. But if they were real and there were zombies about, I'd hunt look for them. (And yes, there are sooo many other zombie movies that I like, these are just at the top)

1) As much as I love The Walking Dead, I'd avoid every single person that belongs to the little group of survivors. Except for Cletus, ahem, excuse me, Daryl, Carol and Glenn. They are the only people that still have  and make common sense. Everyone else is either too whiny, psychotic, or just unfriendly. The three of them don't always need to resort to violence at every turn, like some people. *Ahem* Shane. Plus, Daryl has a bow and arrow (and is just a little bit yummy in that bad boy kind of way). And I would make a point to ignore everyone else in their band of merry craziness and just kidnap the 3 of them. Everyone else they hang out with are too rash and, well, idiotic. I avoid stupidity in everyday life, so a zombie apocalypse is no exception.

2) Shaun from Shaun of the Dead would be the first person I look up. He's all kinds of awesome. Especially his record fighting zombie skills. That would come in handy in many situations. And Shaun's just pretty much the sh*t. He could keep everyone's spirits up by convincing them to go to the pub.

3)  From Dawn of the Dead, I'd pick Ana, Michael, Kenneth and C.J. I would leave behind that red-haired girl, Nicole, just because she went after that damn dog (that would have been fine, but she was a total idiot). I'd like to not travel around with senseless people. Ana and Michael could help repopulate the earth (if he wouldn't have been bit by a zombie, that is). Kenneth and C.J. were just very cool under pressure, which I admire. C.J started off as a total douche, but he really redeemed himself in the end.

4) 28 Weeks Later is next on my must-have list. But . . . . the only person that actually impressed me was Doyle. Not because I think he's a hottie and I'm totally biased. I'm not. Who could say no to having Jeremy Renner around? I mean, an Army sniper would always come in handy. He can handle a weapon and handle it well, so he would be very useful to have around. Because he can handle a weapon. Yeah, that's why. Ahem.

5) Zombieland was on par with the rules to live by in a zombie apocalypse, and it also had one of my favorite zombie killing-Twinkie loving people, Tallahassee. Who wouldn't want him and his mourning over his "puppy" to hang out with? And his zombie killing via banjos? Awesomeness.

















6) Now I know Resident Evil isn't really considered a zombie movie, but I kinda consider them zombies. They feed on people and then those said people die and come back to life trying to eat other people. So. While most people would think Alice is my beloved character from the series, in actuality, she is not. I heart Rain and she is a kick ass female. And Carlos (because he's yummy and he was in more than Resident Evil movie). They're my go to people in the series (yes, I'm super excited about the two of them reappearing in Resident Evil: Retribution. Even if they're coming back on the evil side of things.

Apparently in the case of a zombie apocalypse, I'd only want to surround myself with people that are competent enough to take care of themselves and not completely selfish that they wouldn't help out others. And they all have to have common sense. A zombie apocalypse is the worst time to lack common sense. That's probably why some people I know would never make it through a ZA in one piece. :D