Sometimes Life Really Does Suck

I realize life's not fair and I don't expect it to be. But every once in awhile, I'd just like to catch a break. Just have everything ease up, you know? Between lawyer fees and fighting to keep my boo in school in Ohio, I also have to add getting B a retainer sooner than I'd anticipated. I know I'll never stop worrying because I'm a worry wart, but this is one of the those times I wish everything took care of itself, like money magically appearing out of thin air so I can pay off all my bills and mortgage. Or everything just being absolutely perfect and nothing ever goes wrong. I know it's a lot to ask, but I'd give up just about anything to not have to worry about losing my baby. If everything would work out on that end, everything else would fall into place and fit right where it's supposed to. And the crick in my back would probably disappear like it had never been there in the first place.

I Can't Lie

I won't lie. I watched the Michael Jackson Memorial. And I won't lie about how I started crying when his daughter got up on stage and let the whole world know how much she loved her daddy. Nothing tears me up more than a crying child. I just can't help it. As I watched the memorial, I remembered him in my childhood and I can't deny how I had planned on marrying him at the tender of 4. Or that my mom bought me one of his albums during a visit to Germany so I would feel less homesick. Or that when I was really sad as a kid, I would pull this:

out of its special shelf, hold it close and snuggle with it for comfort. Ah, the memories of childhood. It seems like so long ago, doesn't it? The whole thing, all of it, makes me feel very sad.